Will there ever be a day for Sandcastles?
Is Lisa forced to betray her daughter while she loses it all?
„Can we do that too mommy?“
Lexi snuggled into Lisa‘s arms. They were reading „A Day for Sandcastles“ for bedtime.
„Do what?“, Lisa asked.
„Go to the ocean and build sandcastles“, Lexi dreamed.
„Yes honey, we will some day.“
„But when?“
Lisa didn‘t want to promise her daughter something she wasn‘t able to keep. But she also didn‘t want to disappoint her. Especially not before she‘d fall asleep.
„Tell you what“, she tried to sound cheery: „Next summer, when we have saved up some more money, we will go to the beach and we will build sandcastles all day long“.
„All day long?“, Lexi whispered, smiling. And with this thought, her eyelids closed and she dosed off with that dreamy, beautiful smile on her face.
‚Yes, honey, all day long.‘ Lisa thought but didn’t speak those words. For one, she didn‘t want to wake Lexi and she knew how tough it would be to keep that promise. There were promises unkept in the past. The sort that tend to vanish for so many single parents and Lisa hated herself for it.
Ever since Lexi‘s father, Kyle left, it has been tough to make ends meet. He did pay alimony for Lexi but no spousal support as they were never married. Lisa made a low income as a part time admin at a law firm. She was able to feed and clothe Lexi well enough but any dream or extra wish would cut too deeply into the thin budget.
And the ‚saving more money‘ part was a lie. Every time Lisa managed to put a little money aside, it was gone with the next price hike at the pump or when the washer needed a repair.
And there was last week‘s announcement from the preschool principle: 20% fee increase. Lisa didn‘t know how to manage that. So she had put all hopes into a promotion at work as she’d worked her heart out for quite some time now and was ready to prove the value add of her work ethics and results.
Right before the holidays she was scheduled to present a status on her contracts depository project. When she entered her bosses office, to her surprise, she found the HR manager standing in front of his desk. Just as if she‘d try to shield him. From what?
In a split second Lisa realized: she‘d be let go and not only was all excitement and hope for her project crushed, her only lifeline to protect and support Lexi was vanished in a matter of minutes.
She didn‘t even listen to the „awfully sorry … cost measures … we are devastated but … at least a small severance…“ bullshit bingo.
As she took the long route to the preschool to pick up Lexi, she felt as she‘d almost faint. Was it the anger, the powerlessness, the hopelessness or all of them together? She didn’t even get to present the project outcome for crying out loud! Why was the world so incredibly unfair and brutal to her and with that, to her little girl too?
Everything seemed to crumble like a sandcastle in a fierce ocean wave.
What kind of mother was she actually?
As if the tougher times as a single mom had not already put doubt into her mind, constantly darken her mood so that she didn‘t even go out anymore or enjoy time with her friends.
Now she felt as if she‘d let down Lexi. Her all and everything that depended entirely on her income, on her support, on her strength.
A sliver of hope?
Weeks passed and Lisa managed to put up a brave face. But her job searches produced nothing. Either she was not experienced long enough or it was impossible to manage Lexi‘s day care schedule.
But she had promised herself to never give up and also to quit blaming herself. Better even, she was ready to meet friends again as she felt in need of inspiration and deflection from her situation, albeit for a short evening.
When her neighbor was able to be with Lexi for an evening, Lisa met a college friend, Cassidy. They had planned a reunion for a long time but only now did they find the time to hook up once again. Without fail, it felt as if they never lost touch, as if time hadn’t changed a thing between them.
Lisa found it easy to open up about her worries, about how she felt to be a horrible mother and her struggle to cope with the situation.
This is when it burst out of Cassidy: “This is crazy! One reason I kept postponing our evening was my new business. You remember that I always took my dancing way too serious - your words - back then. Guess what: last year I finally opened that dance school. It’s been an unreal experience. My mom introduced me to Twyla Tarp - of all people - and she even showed up at my grand opening, can you imagine!”
“Ok”, Lisa proclaimed: “Let’s assume for a moment that I have no idea who Twyla Tarp might be, but you are running your own school? WTF! This is awesome, I am so happy for you!”
“Hear me out Lis, I could really use your help right now!”
Lisa was flabbergasted. “How, what, why?”
Cassidy went on how she never got around to organize her contracting and legal documentation and process as the school flourished, classes and courses were fully booked and she simply managed just about that. And that she thought several times about getting help and she thought of Lisa more than once:
“Don’t think I ever forgot how you jumped in to my dad’s mess when he hired you during summer vacation and you saved his butt on so many levels. His law firm still works with your process and filing system!”
Lisa was stunned! “But boring legal pleadings, briefs and affidavits is hardly what a dancing school might need Cass!”
“True, but you are also one of the fastest learners I know. Common Lis, say ‘yes’. Come to the school with me tomorrow and I’ll show you what I need.“
A breakthrough at last?
The next morning it was difficult to drop off Lexi. For one, she didn‘t really want to be left at preschool. Maybe she reacted to Lisa‘s nervousness, although Lisa had kept it to herself, for now. Plus, traffic was madness again and she had to call Cassidy and apologize for the delay, twice. „Don‘t worry Lis, really, I got all morning.“
But it was a stark reminder of how difficult it might turn out to be, to work at the other end of town in a wealthy neighborhood that Lisa could never afford to even move closer to. Let alone relocation cost and even higher cost of living.
And to make matters worse, Lisa was not only embarrassed about the 1 hour delay but also quite intimidated by the whole experience. The dance school was situated in a beautiful old barn, newly renovated with French doors, wooden interiors that elegantly combined a rustic style with modern functionality and finesse. When she learned about the specific work that Cassidy required, she felt entirely misplaced as she had never dealt with any of it before in her life. As hard as she tried, she didn‘t understand the last thing about what would be needed to help the school with a much more professional administrative and business state.
„I‘m really sad and embarrassed Cassidy, I can’t really be of any strong help here. A business plan, articles of incorporation, by-laws and legal agreements with lenders, membership contracts, liability issues? I have never ever done any of this, how can I even vaguely be an asset for you?! Plus, your rental contracts are all wrong and need serious re-negotiation, let alone that most of the membership contracts have expired.“ Lisa was devastated and thought of all the empty promises to Lexi, the invoices piling up and shattered children dreams of sandcastles on a far away beach.
„Are you serious? Can‘t you see: you just took 20 minutes to overlook what is in disarray, what the business needs and what type of work needs to be put in! Proofs my point to call you in here, doesn‘t it? And don‘t be silly, I have seen you learn and do things that were way more complex and difficult and in no time. And there is no need to re-invent the wheel too.“
Lisa was stunned once again.
„Lisa, look: I give you my access to LegalTemplates. I did sign up last year but didn’t even have the time to go back even once. They got pretty much all the templates we will ever need. My advisor at the Chamber of Commerce recommended them. Take a week to get your feet wet and we‘ll meet again to see how we can get you started. And don‘t you worry about Lexi! Nobody works 9 to 5 around here. We will find a work schedule that fits both of you best. I cannot think of anyone more suited for this mess and a steady hand for our bureau. I really want you on my side Lis!“
After Lisa spent the week working with templates, structure and process for Cassidy‘s dance school, she started to feel truly comfortable with the tasks at hand, excited about the prospect to be under contract again and she felt really welcomed and happy with Cassidy and the work place. When Lisa proposed a prioritized work plan for the next six months, the pre-work she had accomplished with the templates and a depository for a smooth and professional process, Cassidy offered her the job without hesitation.
Not only did it pay much better than Lisa‘s last assignment but it was adjustable and scalable to fit perfectly to Lisa‘s life situation. The only thing that made her even happier was the prospect to take Lexi to that beach next summer. So she could keep her promise to build sandcastles all day.
