Dying Yours
Upon the first and every subsequent encounter with this song, it hurls me into a realm of desolate loneliness, a chasm of despair and loss profound. It speaks of love unrequited, of a longing so fierce it sears the veins, of a grief for a love so deep I'd willingly embrace death in its honor, craving the finality of such union. This melody brings to bear a sorrow so immense, so acutely excruciating, that it paralyzes the very essence of my being. To love with such entirety, only for it to be torn asunder, unreachable across the span of eternity, leaves one's soul to implode, cascading back into the void from whence it came. This, then, is the epitome of love's potential to both elevate and obliterate.
When the absence of love extinguishes the very spark of humanity within us, given that love is the quintessence of our human condition, does it not imply that love and death are intertwined? That to exist in bliss or to perish is immaterial, so long as the presence of love, whether reciprocated or not, remains? To die as yours—eager to surrender life for love, alongside you, as part of you, to end as yours.
And yet, in a moment of clarity, it dawned upon me: I have never known such profound despair, never brushed so close to oblivion for the sake of love, never faced nonexistence as the sole alternative to unreturned affection. This realization—that I have never yearned with such intensity as to prefer death over unfulfilled desire—shakes me to my core.
For it signifies that I have never loved in true depth—never fully embraced the essence of living itself.
Dying Yours (ai generated by Jens Thieme)
Ethel Cane - A House In Nebraska
A House In Nebraska - Ethel Cain
Lyrics: A House In Nebraska (by Ethel Cane - Hayden Silas Anhedönia)
Labored breaths and bed sores, sing it to me all day long
When the aching sound of silence used to be our favorite song
You and me against the world, you were my man and I your girl
We had nothing except each other, you were my whole world
Then the day came and you were up and gone
And I still call home that house in Nebraska
Where we found each other on a dirty mattress on the second floor
Where the world was empty, save you and I
Where you came and I laughed, and you left and I cried
Where you told me even if we died tonight, that I'd die yours
These dirt roads are empty, the ones we paved ourselves
Your mama calls me sometimes to see if I'm doing well
And I'd lie to her and say that I'm doing fine
When, really, I'd kill myself to hold you one more time
And it hurts to miss you, but it's worse to know
That I'm the reason you won't come home
But I still call home that house in Nebraska
Where we found each other on a dirty mattress on the second floor
(Where I needed you, and I need you still)
Where the world was empty, save you and I
Where you came and I laughed, and you left and I cried
Where you told me even if we died tonight, that I'd die yours
(So I died there under you every night, all night)
You know, I still wait at the edge of town
Praying straight to God that maybe you'll come back around
I cry every day and the bottles make it worse
'Cause you were the only one I was never scared to tell I hurt
And I found photographs of our school, on the day we met
I thought that you were so beautiful, it was love, I guess
And you might never come back home, and I may never sleep at night
But God, I just hope you're doing fine out there, I just pray that you're alright
And I feel so alone, and I feel so alone out here
I feel so alone, I feel so alone out here
And I feel so alone without you, I'm so alone out here
I feel so alone, I feel so alone
I'm so alone out here without you, baby
*This content explores deep emotions—sadness, despair, and darkness. If you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone. Reach out to someone you trust. Seek help. There’s strength in finding hope.